What a rollercoaster this past 2 weeks have been! To think I would still not have given birth at this point, should Aidan have arrived on or around his due date. In some ways I am happy that he decided to come so early (and so speedily!) and on the other hand it would have been nice to have a few weeks extra to better prepare and get some rest.
Well, here we are two weeks in and it we are easing into our “new normal”. Thus far, it hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been that hard either….some things are just easier this time around and some things are just harder:
1. The Transition from 1 to 2 kids
Whoever said that the transition from 1 to 2 kids is the hardest… is so right! It’s so hard to have to divide your attention between a toddler wanting you at that very instant (who is of course so used to having it undividedly) while you have to see to a helpless little baby. The first week was really rough for Alyssa and we’ve witnessed a few tantrums, the type of tantrums which we’ve never seen before. It was also school holidays that week so I think the combination of the new addition to the family along with some cabin fever was just the recipe for those tantrums! However this week seems to be going a lot better and her Dad and I are trying our best to make her feel just as special as she did before her brother came along.
2. Sleep glorious Sleep
I don’t know if this is the calm before the storm but I really don’t feel as sleep deprived as I did the first time around. I wake Aidan every 4 hours at night to feed (which gives me 3 stretches of sleep) and every 2-3 hours during the day. He’s been a really good sleeper thus far and it’s been a blessing as it gives me some time to spend with Alyssa.
Alyssa was the total opposite in terms of sleep. I don’t recall her ever taking a nap longer than an hour during the day as an infant, although at night she slept well. We had a newborn photoshoot this week which took under 3 hours as Aidan slept through most of the shoot. When Alyssa was born the shoot took almost 7 hours as she kept waking up and crying throughout the shoot!
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Our confidence levels as second time parents are definitely on the up side. We don’t turn to Dr. Google for every little pimple or patch of dry skin, you kind of in tune with your instincts the second time around. I remember having 2 handbooks which I studied religiously just before and after Alyssa was born. Perhaps that information is still engrained somewhere in what’s left in my porridge brain, but I haven’t turned to either of those books just yet!
4. A little help goes a long way!
It’s really great to have help around the house this time round. Our full time domestic/nanny is awesome as she makes sure that we don’t have to worry about anything else besides caring for the kids and feeding ourselves. She is also great with Alyssa and the baby, so it also gives us a little time out should we need it! It really makes a huge difference not having to worry about loads of laundry and dishes, a privilege we did not have the first time round.
5. This too shall pass
These four words really got me through the first few weeks as a Mom. I was just so overwhelmed and could not come to terms with how life had changed. When you are in that situation it’s difficult to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, there are continuous challenges as a parent but as your baby gets older and as you get accustomed to the “new normal” it becomes easier. It’s actually also a time to enjoy – these kiddo’s grow up so quickly – they just reach milestone after milestone and before we know it they are walking, talking and driving you insane with questions.
When things start going a bit rough, I just remember these words and take a deep breath!
What was the hardest part about being a second time for you or what are your fears about becoming a second time mom? I would love to hear.