Having your first child is life changing for sure, but having the second one brings on a totally different ballgame. Last month Kim Kardashian posted on her blog, some of her experiences of how life has changed since Saint was born. She referred to her journey on breastfeeding and how difficult it was for her to breastfeed Saint, with North around. While breastfeeding Saint on the one breast, she literally had to put a small milk carton with a straw in her bra on the opposite side and “feed” North. Her breastfeeding journey with Saint did not last very long because of this.
Children are very unpredictable and there really is no way of knowing how an older sibling will react once there is a new kid on the block. We too had our hands full initially with Alyssa, when Aidan arrived but it certainly has gotten easier. During this time, I especially found comfort in reading some of my fellow Mommy bloggers posts, who went through similar experiences and it really got me through these trying times! It always helps to know that you are not alone, so I thought I would too share a few thoughts on our journey thus far, as it may just help one or two of you going (or about to) through this very thing!
Just like North’s reaction, Alyssa didn’t like the idea of me breastfeeding Aidan. I can still remember that look on her face that very first time she saw me feeding him. She started to cry and immediately wanted me to pick her up. After a few more feeds, she started to realise that both Aidan and I were almost “powerless” while I was feeding him. Alyssa would then take the chance to pinch or hit him across the head and of course I couldn’t really move. Eventually, I could only feed him in his room with the door closed when she wasn’t around.
That only lasted a few weeks though, we all persevered through and eventually Alyssa could sit and cuddle with us.
I always wanted to have my kids close in age as I wanted them to become good friends and to always have a playmate. What I didn’t know was how much fighting would come along with it. As small as he is, Aidan can already pull Alyssa’s hair, throw her with toys and scream blue murder when she takes a toy away from him. Alyssa says “sharing is caring Aidy” but of course, he does not understand.
As Aidan too learns that “sharing is caring” , I’m certainly hoping that they will find their common ground and actually enjoy playing together more often.
Spending Time with your Spouse
If you don’t make a point of setting date nights, it’s not going to happen. There are some weeks that I sit down and think when last did I have an actual conversation with Kurt beside talking about baby poop or kids stuff?
There are some days that go by where we get home, do our chores, see to the kids and one of us falls asleep before the other and we hardly even said a word to each other!
If it wasn’t for our kid’s Nanny who stays over once a month or so, Kurt and I would literally never have time alone together.
No Two Are Alike
A mistake Kurt and I made, was to expect Baby number 2 (aka Aidan) to have similar traits as his older sister, but we were rudely awakened by this from day 1. Alyssa slept through the night (8pm – 5am) from 2 months of age while Aidan only slept through the night at the age of 10 months and still wakes up during the night at times.
Alyssa was very independent and would go to any person whilst Aidan is a Mommy’s boy and tends to cling.
We really had no idea how much they would differ!
Everyone’s allowed to have a Meltdown
Transitioning from a family of 3 to 4 is overwhelming for everybody involved and it’s okay to admit that you are not coping. It actually helps! Aidan is not the only one who was allowed to cry over the past year. Alyssa had her fair share of tantrums – well, of course, she was going through the terrible two’s!
Mom and Dad had their moments too – sometimes the daily challenges can make the day feel extremely hard and we all have times when we just can’t figure out how to balance everything.
Parenting certainly has its fair share of ups and down’s – and as a mom of two, I am actually amazed at myself for learning and embracing this challenging, yet magical time.
Do you have any tales of having two kids? I would love to hear them!