What 9 Years Of Marriage Has Taught Me

Today, Kurt and I are celebrating 9 years of Marriage. Yay!

I’m no marriage expert but Kurt and I must be doing something right if we are still together right?

Marriage is definitely not all peaches and roses 24/7, 365 days a year; but 1 special gesture or event can make up for and override all of the not-so-peachy times. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage anyway, so it comes with the territory I suppose.

These days it’s not uncommon to hear of marriages ending within a couple of years of tieing the knot. It’s so sad really.

It feels like just yesterday that we walked down the aisle, but at the same time, it seems as if we’ve been together for a lifetime. There are a few lessons I’ve learned about marriage over the last 9 years and I thought today would be a good day for some reflection.

So what have I learned about marriage over the last 9 years?

9 Things, Ironically

1. A rough patch is totes normal

Our 9-year track record does not really include a really “rough patch”. Which means that our relationship can actually endure a lot because honestly, the disagreements and arguments we have actually put things into perspective afterward.

We’ve been through some tough times — and have come out on the other side and it has only made us stronger.

I mean we had 2 kids in the space of 2 years – if we could survive that we can survive anything HA HA!

2. GIve each other space

When things get tough, and I can see my man is taking strain, I give him space and he does the same for me. Just let it go. Whatever I have to moan about can wait until he’s ready to hear it. We have enough noise going around us with the kids hanging on our legs for every little thing.

3. It takes two

Whenever there’s a decision to be made about anything in our home, albeit parenting, or travel or financial etc — we both agree that it takes two yeses (or just one no) to make a final decision.

4. Don’t go to bed when you’re angry

Look each other in the eye or just give a hug or hold hands – even if we still need to work things through –  because it just forms a connection that we are in this thing together. It’s just a reminder of what really matters.


5. Date nights … whats that?

Although I would really love to spend more time alone with Kurt, date nights don’t have to be that glamorous.

Going out on a regular basis and leaving our kids with a babysitter every weekend is just not realistic for us at this stage, but we make spending time together a priority a few times a week after the kids are in bed. And sometimes we take a day off from work and do a Date Day which is actually so much better than a Friday night when you can barely keep your eyes open!

It’s all about connecting at the end of the day.

6. We surround ourselves with positive people

We love surrounding ourselves with positive people and couples who take pride in their relationships and we learn from one another. It definitely helps when you compare notes and can laugh about ourselves with each other.

7. Play on each other’s strengths

When we got married, Kurt knew I wasn’t very handy in the kitchen. He has cooked every single day for me since the day we moved in together. He loves cooking and I let him lead whenever it comes to meal prepping, lunches, grocery lists etc. Whereas, anything in our home where a degree of planning is involved, I’m in charge. We do what works for us.

8. Setting Goals Together

If we want to be together, we obviously need to focus on our future goals by dreaming together, right?  Our Dream House, our dream holiday destination, aspirations for our kids…

9. Our marriage is not perfect.

Nobody is. But …I’m thankful for the privilege of walking this road with Kurt by my side!

Me and my personal chef xxx

How long have you been married for? Any other important lessons that you’ve learned?

Photo’s by Curtis Golden Photography






  1. Carly Clarke October 18, 2017

    Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!

    • Hayley October 18, 2017

      Thank you Carly ❤️

  2. Melissa Lawrence October 18, 2017


    • Hayley October 18, 2017

      Thanks Melissa ❤️

  3. Gail October 18, 2017

    THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Congratulations guys..

    • Hayley October 18, 2017

      Thanks my friend

  4. Kim Muller October 18, 2017

    Congratulations!!! Have you started planning the big 10 year anni yet? Jokes aside, your lessons learnt are spot on. We’re together 8 years this November, and I can relate to almost every single one of them.

    • Hayley October 18, 2017

      Thank you Hun. I just told Kurt that next year is our Diamond anniversary… so he better start saving I’m sure you’re 8th will be a special one … with baby here, you have a lot to celebrate ❤️

  5. […] married for almost 10 years – you’d think that Kurt and would know every single thing about each other. […]


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