Two (and a half) weeks in – as parents of Two

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BTS of our first family of 4 photoshoot

What a rollercoaster this past 2 weeks have been! To think I would still not have given birth at this point, should Aidan have arrived on or around his due date. In some ways I am happy that he decided to come so early (and so speedily!) and on the other hand it would have been nice to have a few weeks extra to better prepare and get some rest.

Well, here we are two weeks in and it we are easing into our “new normal”. Thus far, it hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t  been that hard either….some things are just easier this time around and some things are just harder:

1. The Transition from 1 to 2 kids

Whoever said that the transition from 1 to 2 kids is the hardest… is so right! It’s so hard to have to divide your attention between a toddler wanting you at that very instant (who is of course so used to having it undividedly) while you have to see to a helpless little baby. The first week was really rough for Alyssa and we’ve witnessed a few tantrums, the type of tantrums which we’ve never seen before. It was also school holidays that week so I think the combination of the new addition to the family along with some cabin fever was just the recipe for those tantrums! However this week seems to be going a lot better and  her Dad and I are trying our best to make her feel just as special as she did before her brother came along.

2. Sleep glorious Sleep

I don’t know if this is the calm before the storm but I really don’t feel as sleep deprived as I did the first time around. I wake Aidan every  4  hours at night to feed (which gives me 3 stretches of sleep) and every 2-3 hours during the day. He’s been a really good sleeper thus far and it’s been a blessing as it gives me some time to spend with Alyssa.

Alyssa was the total opposite in terms of sleep. I don’t recall her ever taking a nap longer than an hour during the day as an infant, although at night she slept well. We had a newborn photoshoot this week which took under 3 hours as Aidan slept through most of the shoot. When Alyssa was born the shoot took almost 7 hours as she kept waking up and crying throughout the shoot!

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Our confidence levels as second time parents are definitely on the up side. We don’t turn to Dr. Google for every little pimple or patch of dry skin, you kind of in tune with your instincts the second time around. I remember having 2 handbooks which I studied religiously just before and after Alyssa was born. Perhaps that information is still engrained somewhere in what’s left in my porridge brain, but I haven’t turned to either of those books just yet!

4. A little help goes a long way!

It’s really great to have help around the house this time round. Our full time domestic/nanny is awesome as she makes sure that we don’t have to worry about anything else besides caring for the kids and feeding ourselves. She is also great with Alyssa and the baby, so it also gives us a little time out should we need it! It really makes a huge difference not having to worry about loads of laundry and  dishes, a privilege we did not have the first time round.

5. This too shall pass

These four words really got me through the first few weeks as a Mom. I was just so overwhelmed and could not come to terms with how life had changed. When you are in that situation it’s difficult to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, there are continuous challenges as a parent but as your baby gets older and as you get accustomed to the “new normal” it becomes easier. It’s actually also a time to enjoy – these kiddo’s grow up so quickly – they just reach milestone after milestone and before we know it they are walking, talking and driving you insane with questions.

When things start going a bit rough, I just remember these words and take a deep breath!

What was the hardest part about being a second time for you or what are your fears about becoming a second time mom? I would love to hear.

xxx

Hayley

 

 

3 Comments

  1. Mandy Cupido April 16, 2015

    Hi Hayley

    Firstly congrats on the arrival of the new addition to your family, your kids are absolutely gorgeous. I love reading your blogs and find it very uplifting. I’m not a second time mom yet but reading your blogs definitely gives me a sense that my hubby and I are not alone in this crazy, adventurous journey of parenthood. Being a mother of a 3 year old and studying further is definitely challenging. But making time for my boys is still my first priority, even though I haven’t been doing that much lately, I do try. I think Kenzo’s tantrums are more stemmed from not spending that much time with me, and it makes me feel so guilty. I’m normally very good with discipline & structure, but lately I find myself giving into things that I normally wouldn’t because I feel so guilty. My husband has been so amazing and truly supportive, so that helps me to keep my sanity at times when I feel like giving up. Finding the balance is hard and I also keep telling myself, “this too shall pass.” All the best with your new journey, and looking forward to reading your next blog.

    Best Regards
    Mandy

    Reply
    • hayleysjoys April 16, 2015

      Hi Mandy. Thanks for your feedback, it means a lot to me 😉 Parenting is by far one of the biggest challenges as the job never ends but at the same time it is THE MOST rewarding thing ever! It really helps that we have supportive husbands – I really don’t know how single moms do it. All the best for your studies – it’s a short term sacrifice for a long term benefit xxx

      Reply
  2. Heather April 18, 2015

    Hey congrats on the new arrival, I’m also not a second time mom yet but hoping to be! I think you’re doing great…

    Reply

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