Kurt and I will be married 10 years next week and naturally, I’ve been reflecting on our life together. It seems surreal that we’ve been married for a decade. There’s been ups and downs, highs and lows but most of all, its been fun all the way and the fact that I still feel this way is the best!
I’m sure most married people get irritated with their partners every now and again. It’s completely normal to have disagreements. Kurt and I irritate each other quite often and sometimes something that may seem minor afterwards would usually get to me so badly.
But I think over time we figured out how to work things out without a constant battle.
In fact, there is one thing that I’ve stopped doing that has made the biggest difference in our marriage.
I realised that I will never be able to change his behaviour! And I stopped thinking that I could. BUT – I could only change my own.
For years, we probably both made the common mistakes of always wanting to be right and waiting for the other person to change.
But it wasn’t a matter of right and wrong.
We are simply just two very different human beings, with different inclinations – just like you and your partner. But I’ve learned that our differences can actually make us a stronger team – 10 years and beyond.
So when a disagreement flares up, I try to think before I say anything or just keep quiet until I am ready to say something that will actually help the cause.
I think that in order for any relationship to work out, both parties have to be willing to work on it and to COMPROMISE. Sometimes one person might need to make the first move and convince the other one to do the same.
But – at the end of the day, it takes two to tango!
P.S reading Gary Champman’s The Five Love Languages (I shared a bit about it here) has really helped me to understand Kurt better and what’s important to him!
These are the 5 love languages according to Chapman:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
Do you know what’s your Love Language?